How much money do people lose to romance scams?

In the UK, victims reported losses of over £92 million to romance fraud in 2023 (Action Fraud). The average loss per victim was around £11,500 — but some people lose hundreds of thousands of pounds. Romance scams are one of the most financially devastating types of fraud because the emotional manipulation leads victims to send large sums over extended periods. Many cases go unreported due to shame or embarrassment.

Can I get my money back after a romance scam?

Getting money back depends on how you paid. Bank transfers — contact your bank immediately and ask them to attempt a recovery (under the Contingent Reimbursement Model, many banks will reimburse victims of authorised push payment fraud). Credit/debit card — contact your bank for a chargeback or Section 75 claim. Gift cards or cryptocurrency — very difficult or impossible to recover. The sooner you act, the better your chances. Always report to Action Fraud and your bank.

How do romance scammers usually contact people?

Romance scammers typically make contact through dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge), social media (Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp), or dating websites. They create fake profiles using stolen photos — often attractive, professional-looking people. Some scammers also make contact through online games, forums, or even LinkedIn. The initial approach usually seems genuine and not pushy — they build trust over weeks or months before asking for money.

What are the signs of a romance scam?

Key warning signs include: they want to move off the dating platform quickly (to WhatsApp etc.); they claim to live abroad or be in the military; their photos look professional or too perfect (reverse image search them); they avoid video calls or meeting in person; they declare love very quickly; they mention financial problems or emergencies; they ask for money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency; their story has inconsistencies; they get angry or guilt-trip you when you question them.

Romance Scams UK — How to Spot Them, Protect Yourself, and Report | PocketWise

Romance scams are one of the UK’s most devastating types of fraud — costing victims an average of over £11,000 and causing severe emotional harm. Here’s how they work and how to protect yourself.

How Romance Scams Work

Stage	What happens
1. Contact	Scammer creates a fake profile on a dating app, social media, or dating website
2. Building trust	Weeks or months of messaging — appearing caring, attentive, and emotionally available
3. Creating a bond	Declares love early, talks about a future together, makes you feel special
4. Isolation	Moves you off the platform (to WhatsApp, email) so there’s no platform monitoring
5. Excuse for not meeting	Claims to live abroad, be in the military, or always have a reason not to video call
6. The crisis	A sudden emergency — hospital bill, legal trouble, stuck abroad, business problem
7. The ask	Requests money — often framed as a loan or temporary help
8. Repeat	More crises, more requests — escalating amounts
9. Disappearance	Eventually stops responding, or asks for more until you can’t pay

Warning Signs

Red flag	Why it’s suspicious
Moves off the dating app quickly	Avoids platform monitoring and safety features
Can’t video call or meet in person	May not be who they claim to be
Declares love or strong feelings very quickly	“Love bombing” — a manipulation technique
Claims to be abroad (military, oil rig, doctor overseas)	Classic scam backstories
Photos look professional or model-like	May be stolen photos — reverse image search
Story has inconsistencies	Details don’t add up when you look closely
Asks for money, gift cards, or crypto	THE definitive red flag — a genuine romantic interest does not ask for money
Has a sudden emergency or crisis	Designed to create urgency and bypass your judgment
Gets angry, defensive, or guilt-trips when questioned	Manipulative response to maintain control
Asks you to keep the relationship secret	Prevents friends/family from raising concerns
Asks you to receive or transfer money	May involve you in money laundering

Common Scam Scenarios

Scenario	How it works
Medical emergency	“I’ve been in an accident and need money for surgery”
Stuck abroad	“I need money for a flight/visa to come and see you”
Business problem	“My shipment is stuck in customs — I need to pay fees”
Legal trouble	“I’ve been arrested and need bail money”
Investment opportunity	“I have a great crypto/investment opportunity — put in money and we’ll profit together”
Military deployment	“I need money for leave/communication fees” (not how the military works)
Inheritance/windfall	“I have an inheritance but need to pay fees to release it”

How to Protect Yourself

Action	How
Reverse image search their photos	Use Google Images, TinEye, or Yandex to check if photos appear elsewhere
Stay on the dating platform	Don’t move to WhatsApp/email until you’ve met in person
Insist on a video call early	A video call proves they look like their photos
Never send money to someone you haven’t met	No matter how convincing the reason
Talk to friends and family	Get an outside perspective — they’ll spot red flags you might miss
Check their story	Google their name, job, and location for inconsistencies
Be cautious of perfect profiles	Too-good-to-be-true profiles often are
Trust your instincts	If something feels off, it probably is
Don’t share financial details	Never share bank details, passwords, or ID documents
Don’t invest based on a partner’s advice	“Pig butchering” scams combine romance with fake investments

“Pig Butchering” Scams

A newer and particularly devastating variation:

Feature	Detail
What it is	Romance scammer convinces you to “invest” in fake crypto/trading platforms
How it works	They show you fake profits on a fraudulent website/app
The hook	You see your “investment” growing — encouraged to put in more
The scam	When you try to withdraw, you’re told to pay more “fees” or “tax”
Losses	Often tens or hundreds of thousands of pounds
Why it’s called “pig butchering”	Scammers use the term — they “fatten up” the victim before taking everything

What To Do If You’ve Been Scammed

Step	Action
1	Stop all contact with the scammer immediately
2	Don’t send any more money — no matter what they say
3	Contact your bank immediately — request a payment recovery
4	Report to Action Fraud — 0300 123 2040 or actionfraud.police.uk
5	Report to the dating platform — they can remove the scammer’s profile
6	Screenshot and save all evidence — messages, profiles, payment receipts
7	Tell someone you trust — friend, family member, GP
8	Get emotional support — Victim Support (0808 168 9111) or Samaritans (116 123)

Getting Your Money Back

Payment method	Recovery possibility	What to do
Bank transfer	Good — under the Contingent Reimbursement Model	Contact bank ASAP — request chargeback/recovery
Credit card	Good — Section 75 or chargeback	Contact card provider
Debit card	Moderate — chargeback possible	Contact bank — request chargeback
Gift cards (iTunes, Google Play, etc.)	Very difficult	Report to the gift card company — unlikely to recover
Cryptocurrency (Bitcoin, etc.)	Very difficult	Report to exchange and Action Fraud — recovery rare
Money transfer (Western Union, MoneyGram)	Difficult	Contact the service immediately — report fraud
Cash	Almost impossible	Report to police

Contingent Reimbursement Model (CRM)

Detail	Information
What it is	A voluntary code that means many banks will reimburse victims of Authorised Push Payment (APP) fraud
Which banks?	Most major UK banks are signed up
Do you always get money back?	Not always — the bank assesses whether you took reasonable care
Time limit	Report as soon as possible — the faster you act, the better
From October 2024	New mandatory reimbursement rules for APP fraud — most victims should be reimbursed up to £85,000

Who Is at Risk?

Romance scams can target anyone, but some groups are particularly vulnerable:

Group	Why
People who’ve recently been widowed, divorced, or had a breakup	Emotionally vulnerable, seeking connection
Older adults	May be less familiar with online dating risks
People who are isolated or lonely	Scammer fills an emotional need
People new to online dating	Less aware of typical scam patterns

Important: Being scammed is not your fault. Romance scammers are professional criminals who deliberately exploit human emotions. There is no shame in being a victim.

Where to Get Help

Organisation	Contact	Help with
Action Fraud	0300 123 2040 / actionfraud.police.uk	Reporting the crime
Your bank	Your bank’s fraud helpline	Recovering money
Victim Support	0808 168 9111	Emotional support
Samaritans	116 123	Emotional crisis support
Citizens Advice	citizensadvice.org.uk	Practical advice
Age UK	0800 678 1602	Support for older victims
Financial Ombudsman	0800 023 4567	If your bank refuses to reimburse