Protecting Yourself from Scams and Fraud UKRomance Scams UK — How to Spot Them, Protect Yourself, and Report
How romance scams work, the warning signs to watch for, how to protect yourself from romance fraud, and what to do if you've been scammed.
Start here: Scams and Fraud Hub.
Romance scams are one of the UK’s most devastating types of fraud — costing victims an average of over £11,000 and causing severe emotional harm. Here’s how they work and how to protect yourself.
How Romance Scams Work
| Stage | What happens |
|---|
| 1. Contact | Scammer creates a fake profile on a dating app, social media, or dating website |
| 2. Building trust | Weeks or months of messaging — appearing caring, attentive, and emotionally available |
| 3. Creating a bond | Declares love early, talks about a future together, makes you feel special |
| 4. Isolation | Moves you off the platform (to WhatsApp, email) so there’s no platform monitoring |
| 5. Excuse for not meeting | Claims to live abroad, be in the military, or always have a reason not to video call |
| 6. The crisis | A sudden emergency — hospital bill, legal trouble, stuck abroad, business problem |
| 7. The ask | Requests money — often framed as a loan or temporary help |
| 8. Repeat | More crises, more requests — escalating amounts |
| 9. Disappearance | Eventually stops responding, or asks for more until you can’t pay |
Warning Signs
| Red flag | Why it’s suspicious |
|---|
| Moves off the dating app quickly | Avoids platform monitoring and safety features |
| Can’t video call or meet in person | May not be who they claim to be |
| Declares love or strong feelings very quickly | “Love bombing” — a manipulation technique |
| Claims to be abroad (military, oil rig, doctor overseas) | Classic scam backstories |
| Photos look professional or model-like | May be stolen photos — reverse image search |
| Story has inconsistencies | Details don’t add up when you look closely |
| Asks for money, gift cards, or crypto | THE definitive red flag — a genuine romantic interest does not ask for money |
| Has a sudden emergency or crisis | Designed to create urgency and bypass your judgment |
| Gets angry, defensive, or guilt-trips when questioned | Manipulative response to maintain control |
| Asks you to keep the relationship secret | Prevents friends/family from raising concerns |
| Asks you to receive or transfer money | May involve you in money laundering |
Common Scam Scenarios
| Scenario | How it works |
|---|
| Medical emergency | “I’ve been in an accident and need money for surgery” |
| Stuck abroad | “I need money for a flight/visa to come and see you” |
| Business problem | “My shipment is stuck in customs — I need to pay fees” |
| Legal trouble | “I’ve been arrested and need bail money” |
| Investment opportunity | “I have a great crypto/investment opportunity — put in money and we’ll profit together” |
| Military deployment | “I need money for leave/communication fees” (not how the military works) |
| Inheritance/windfall | “I have an inheritance but need to pay fees to release it” |
How to Protect Yourself
| Action | How |
|---|
| Reverse image search their photos | Use Google Images, TinEye, or Yandex to check if photos appear elsewhere |
| Stay on the dating platform | Don’t move to WhatsApp/email until you’ve met in person |
| Insist on a video call early | A video call proves they look like their photos |
| Never send money to someone you haven’t met | No matter how convincing the reason |
| Talk to friends and family | Get an outside perspective — they’ll spot red flags you might miss |
| Check their story | Google their name, job, and location for inconsistencies |
| Be cautious of perfect profiles | Too-good-to-be-true profiles often are |
| Trust your instincts | If something feels off, it probably is |
| Don’t share financial details | Never share bank details, passwords, or ID documents |
| Don’t invest based on a partner’s advice | “Pig butchering” scams combine romance with fake investments |
“Pig Butchering” Scams
A newer and particularly devastating variation:
| Feature | Detail |
|---|
| What it is | Romance scammer convinces you to “invest” in fake crypto/trading platforms |
| How it works | They show you fake profits on a fraudulent website/app |
| The hook | You see your “investment” growing — encouraged to put in more |
| The scam | When you try to withdraw, you’re told to pay more “fees” or “tax” |
| Losses | Often tens or hundreds of thousands of pounds |
| Why it’s called “pig butchering” | Scammers use the term — they “fatten up” the victim before taking everything |
What To Do If You’ve Been Scammed
| Step | Action |
|---|
| 1 | Stop all contact with the scammer immediately |
| 2 | Don’t send any more money — no matter what they say |
| 3 | Contact your bank immediately — request a payment recovery |
| 4 | Report to Action Fraud — 0300 123 2040 or actionfraud.police.uk |
| 5 | Report to the dating platform — they can remove the scammer’s profile |
| 6 | Screenshot and save all evidence — messages, profiles, payment receipts |
| 7 | Tell someone you trust — friend, family member, GP |
| 8 | Get emotional support — Victim Support (0808 168 9111) or Samaritans (116 123) |
Getting Your Money Back
| Payment method | Recovery possibility | What to do |
|---|
| Bank transfer | Good — under the Contingent Reimbursement Model | Contact bank ASAP — request chargeback/recovery |
| Credit card | Good — Section 75 or chargeback | Contact card provider |
| Debit card | Moderate — chargeback possible | Contact bank — request chargeback |
| Gift cards (iTunes, Google Play, etc.) | Very difficult | Report to the gift card company — unlikely to recover |
| Cryptocurrency (Bitcoin, etc.) | Very difficult | Report to exchange and Action Fraud — recovery rare |
| Money transfer (Western Union, MoneyGram) | Difficult | Contact the service immediately — report fraud |
| Cash | Almost impossible | Report to police |
Contingent Reimbursement Model (CRM)
| Detail | Information |
|---|
| What it is | A voluntary code that means many banks will reimburse victims of Authorised Push Payment (APP) fraud |
| Which banks? | Most major UK banks are signed up |
| Do you always get money back? | Not always — the bank assesses whether you took reasonable care |
| Time limit | Report as soon as possible — the faster you act, the better |
| From October 2024 | New mandatory reimbursement rules for APP fraud — most victims should be reimbursed up to £85,000 |
Who Is at Risk?
Romance scams can target anyone, but some groups are particularly vulnerable:
| Group | Why |
|---|
| People who’ve recently been widowed, divorced, or had a breakup | Emotionally vulnerable, seeking connection |
| Older adults | May be less familiar with online dating risks |
| People who are isolated or lonely | Scammer fills an emotional need |
| People new to online dating | Less aware of typical scam patterns |
Important: Being scammed is not your fault. Romance scammers are professional criminals who deliberately exploit human emotions. There is no shame in being a victim.
Where to Get Help
| Organisation | Contact | Help with |
|---|
| Action Fraud | 0300 123 2040 / actionfraud.police.uk | Reporting the crime |
| Your bank | Your bank’s fraud helpline | Recovering money |
| Victim Support | 0808 168 9111 | Emotional support |
| Samaritans | 116 123 | Emotional crisis support |
| Citizens Advice | citizensadvice.org.uk | Practical advice |
| Age UK | 0800 678 1602 | Support for older victims |
| Financial Ombudsman | 0800 023 4567 | If your bank refuses to reimburse |
Useful Links